and i would sing you a loud lullaby. when you hover aside and fall asleep. and when you drift in dreams... my loud lullaby will keep you awake.



how to get rid off your annoying ex [v.2]

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11.00 pm, It was late at night and he still in his office. He was staring at the monitor on his desk, while the ads from numerous porn sites keep popping out on the desktop. Oh! You’re going to owe me big time for this!

A man with a guilty face was standing next to him, watching him anxiously. Hey, I know. Just get rid off those pop ups will you?

Our dear friend sighed. Actually, it was no problem at all. But the fact that his colleague has used his PC to browse the porn sites was almost unforgivable.
“Why do you have to browse from my desk?”
“I’m just looking for something artsy… It’s for my girlfriend…”
“Artsy stuff? From the porn sites? And hey! I thought you’re married?”
“…”

The quarrel paused when the phone suddenly rang.

They both looked at each other with a puzzled face.
“Pick it up… Maybe it’s your wife”
“No way… I called her ten minutes ago and told her that I’m going to be late”
“Then who is it?” “Hey, it’s on your desk. Just pick it up and find out!”

He sighed and picked up the phone


“Hello…”
“Hi… It’s you all right!” A voice cracked in a delighted tone
“… What do you want?” He blurted. It was his ex… again…
“A ‘hi’ back won’t hurt anyone…”
“Ok… Hi…”
“That’s good…”
“How did you get this number?”
“Ah… Your sister told me”
“Oh… I see. What is it then?” He knew that his little sister have a soft spot for his ex. The bribe works well
“Ah come on! Can’t you remember?”
“Remember what?”
“Today!”
“What? Look I’m in no mood to play games!”
“Today it’s my birthday…”
“Oh… Happy birthday then. Best of Luck” Luck… His tongue almost slipped on the temptation of to replace the ‘L’ with ‘F’
“That’s it? No birthday present or whatsoever?”
“What do you want then?” He lowered his shoulder almost giving up
“Well… Tell you the truth… I still want you come here and fuck me... Literally…” She said the last word boldly
“I see…” He almost chuckled. Obviously, she didn’t forget their last chat on the phone
“So?”

He paused for a moment, and his eyes stumbled again on his monitor.

“Just wait in a few weeks ahead…” An idea flashed through his mind
“Really? I mean… You’re actually going to… Okay… I…”
“Don't let me spoil the details... bye!”

He hung up, glanced at his colleague and smirked victoriously.

"What? Who was it?" He looked clueless
"Uh... no one important... Say… You owe me big time didn’t you?” pointing out an item dis played on the monitor...
“Uh-huh" He just nodded in approval

A week later, she received a small package. She opens it up and found an actual figure of a hand made from solid rubber. The fingers were forming a grip but middle finger. The middle finger is pointing out, no need to explain what it means… Along with the figure, she found a note.

“Happy Birthday… It vibrates!”

PS: Battery not included
posted @ 3:34 PM   3 comments



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