and i would sing you a loud lullaby. when you hover aside and fall asleep. and when you drift in dreams... my loud lullaby will keep you awake.
I don't know... in some way or another... she's inevitable... sooner or later..we'll bump into her eventually... face to face...
To me... it's DEATH who make us stop and contemplating.... NOT LOVE !!!
But I couldn't get my self on a grip of a proper explanation on the she works.... I'm here... replying some comments, browsing some regular sites, checkin my e-mails, drinking a bottle of tea, smoking a pack of cigarettes... and a freezing lake started to break apart is drawed pefectly on my eyes...
One thing I hate about myself in a devastating situation ... is that I always ended up cuddling my scraped knee on the corner of my room...
I never cried if she came.... all my entire life... I never shed any tears on death.... yet.... Even if she came to take someone dear or even my family... The truth is....I never understands why people cried on death or funerals... shouldn't they be happy...??? I mean... for the dead... no more pain... no more witnessing the agony... no worries on how the dear time will draw the lines of fate tomorrow... what could be better...??.
My most suicidal thoughts... if they were... a revolver and a hungry-for-life-bullet... I would gladly put myself into an end....
Again... a chain of frames passing me by... they whisper... Not now !!!... I tried not to listen... I don't care... loosing your dear friends in tragic way is not making me any stronger... I can't be there so sturdy yet crumbling apart inside....
Not anymore.... maybe.....my novels ends here...
To me... it's DEATH who make us stop and contemplating.... NOT LOVE !!!
But I couldn't get my self on a grip of a proper explanation on the she works.... I'm here... replying some comments, browsing some regular sites, checkin my e-mails, drinking a bottle of tea, smoking a pack of cigarettes... and a freezing lake started to break apart is drawed pefectly on my eyes...
One thing I hate about myself in a devastating situation ... is that I always ended up cuddling my scraped knee on the corner of my room...
I never cried if she came.... all my entire life... I never shed any tears on death.... yet.... Even if she came to take someone dear or even my family... The truth is....I never understands why people cried on death or funerals... shouldn't they be happy...??? I mean... for the dead... no more pain... no more witnessing the agony... no worries on how the dear time will draw the lines of fate tomorrow... what could be better...??.
My most suicidal thoughts... if they were... a revolver and a hungry-for-life-bullet... I would gladly put myself into an end....
Again... a chain of frames passing me by... they whisper... Not now !!!... I tried not to listen... I don't care... loosing your dear friends in tragic way is not making me any stronger... I can't be there so sturdy yet crumbling apart inside....
Not anymore.... maybe.....my novels ends here...
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behind the blog
- yani patrik
- Indonesia
- My profile
and days go by
box of past tense
- January 2003
- February 2003
- August 2003
- September 2003
- November 2003
- May 2004
- June 2004
- September 2004
- October 2004
- November 2004
- December 2004
- January 2005
- February 2005
- March 2005
- April 2005
- May 2005
- June 2005
- July 2005
- August 2005
- September 2005
- December 2005
- January 2006
- February 2006
- June 2006
- August 2008
perhaps they cry for themselves... because they envy the deads.
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