a [loud] lullaby: year.end.contemplation

and i would sing you a loud lullaby. when you hover aside and fall asleep. and when you drift in dreams... my loud lullaby will keep you awake.

year.end.contemplation

Published Friday, December 31, 2004 by yani patrik | E-mail this post

Faiths Ask of Quake: 'Why Did You Do This, God?' Reuters - Thu Dec 30, 5:48 PM ET It is one of the oldest, most profound questions, posed by some of the most learned minds of every faith throughout the course of human history.

Well, I have my own year end contemplation.... And I would take an unusual comparation between Aceh and Smallville.... Yes, the same Aceh province that recently suffer because the eartquake and tsunami attack, and the Smallville you seen on TV.

If u happen to watched Smallville on the it's 2nd season, there is one of my fave episode. In that episode, Whitney (Lana's
ex-bf) is died on his mission in Aceh Province... ( And that was kinda silly actually... U.S. troops on a war mission in Aceh?... ). But that's
not the point... since now maybe U.S. are sending their troop to help the Indo Army..
At the end of the episode... Lana cries and told Clark, that those close person in her life is starting to go away, first her parents, her aunts and now her ex-bf... She said “You are the only one good constant thing in my life Clark… And I don’t want to lose you too...”

And recently the people in Aceh has lost too many good constant things in their life, not only one... father, mother, husband, wife,
children, family, colleagues, and many things... I cannot imagine what kind of strenght those people had for just being able to stand on their
feet after those losses...

If I'm Clark Kent, I would gallop to Aceh as fast as I could if I was... but I'm not and never will be...

I wonder why this thing happens?... I mean, why do it have to be my country?... I have a chat with Ayiek a few day ago and [info]kangbayu yesterday and they make a very good point of view... I cut some part of the chat

the chat with kang_bayu :
here

stizilkin: lg baca artikel2 tsunami nih....
anaxehat : mendadak "tsunami" jadi keyword yang ngetop ya...
stizilkin: the death toll man...
stizilkin: knp juga negara kita yg kena...
stizilkin: ga israel aja...
stizilkin: :(
anaxehat : israel dah ga perlu dikasi peringatan kayaknya...
anaxehat : kita yang masih harus disadarin biar bersatu....
stizilkin: hm... u got a point there...
stizilkin: tp kl yg namanya peringatan aja udah hampir 60,000 nyawa...
stizilkin: yg namanya hukuman ky apa ya?...
stizilkin: :|
anaxehat : unspeakable....
stizilkin: and unthinkable...
anaxehat : semoga manusia pada cepet sadar...
anaxehat : terutama pemimpin2 Indonesia dan umat Muslim
stizilkin: amin...

the chat with Ayiek :
here

ayieks: humm...ckckck...
ayieks: gila yakk...
ayieks: kenapa orang2 sebangsa gitu bukan yg kena musibah tsunami??
stizilkin: it's the balance concept dear...
ayieks: kok gak di laen tempat aja.. yg banyak sinnernya, kan lumayan ngurangin manusia2 menyebalkan yg masih idup en bikin
bete orang laen
stizilkin: god in his mood to make new good people...
ayieks: i dont think so..
stizilkin: so he wiped the good old one...
ayieks: God in the mood of taking good people first, and left all the bastard alive to feel the end of the world
stizilkin: maybe he did...
stizilkin: and we are getting close aren't we...
ayieks: i think so..
ayieks: but if left all the bastard...bukannya yang di thailand tuh sinner semua???
ayieks: *confused*
ayieks: binun...
stizilkin: hahaha...
stizilkin: u forgot that HE is the Lord of Comedy...
ayieks: hummm...iye...emang the funniest in the whole world...

the chat with Ayiek ( again ) :
here

stizilkin: still in deep condolences as I can see..
ayieks: .....
ayieks: dan ruang kantor gue udah kayak gudang
ayieks: *grins*
ayieks: yang jelas, banyak doa, banyak sandang pangan yang ditumpuk2 di sinih
ayieks: besok dikirim ke aceh via DHL flight
stizilkin: that's great...
stizilkin: aku jg lg ngumpulin baju buat disumbangin...
ayieks: tadi ada juga yang contact, mo nyumbang vaksin 5 ton...
ayieks: tapi gue suruh langsung ke DHL biar di handling...soalna vaksin bisa rusak kalo gak di simpen di cold room
ayieks: kemaren beras 1 ton udah diberangkatin...alhamdulillah
ayieks: seneng liat orang2 yang biasanya mikir diri sendiri ternyata masih mikir deritanya orang laen
ayieks: i'm so happy to see that fact
stizilkin: well... remember I told ya bout my silly balance concept..
ayieks: yup...
stizilkin: there is still good people...
ayieks: but ya know the worst?
stizilkin: what?
ayieks: tomorrow, many people will get wild, drunk all nite...while our family in aceh are in suffer
ayieks: so sad
ayieks: a real balance concept
stizilkin: what occassion
stizilkin: ?
ayieks: rave party for new year eye
ayieks: eye = eve
stizilkin: yet the slogan still...."cry out for aceh"...
ayieks: rave party, free flow...
ayieks: shut
ayieks: and the craziest is....
ayieks: i wanna be one of them...
ayieks: silly...
ayieks: i know i supposed not to...
ayieks: but well...cant deny man...

One of my closest friend are in Aceh, a highschool friend. I tried to contact him, He's in Nabire. A 1st lieutenant in the Army. I was kinda worried because I tried to call him, but I kept getting a failed signal. So I tried to text him, and thankfully he got it and send me a text full of agony yet it relieved me that he was okay.

Yudhi told me that there are so many village turns into a total wreck, and it was worst than the war...

I can't say that we deserved this kind of warning, no human in this world is glad to see a devastating earthquake and tsunami. But sometime the hands of Nature is forced to make a hard slap on our face and a pinch to our conscience just to remind us of those things really important to us...

I realize that I maybe have my own slight disappointment on how thing works. I mean, I can stand to watch tv or went OL, since everytime I checked the body counts seems to grow in numbers.... but I choose to believe that everything is still on place... the world is still in balance... I choose to believe in GOD... and if that's God's will... 107.000 lives in total and 45.000 of them are in Aceh... so be it... I just hope that this so-called warnings from God are worth it... because we... human... are nothing more than impudant fools.

I hate to say this, but look at the spark on the bright side... Aceh has been in Civil War for years, maybe it's time for those who draw the line of battle to stop fighting.To put down their guns and hold each others hands and start to rebuild things together, but not based because "we have to..., their family is dying and it's not fun to shoot people in grief".

But based on "fighting and war are no good, they never meant to be good... we don't have to swarm the bullets to take lives... but LOVE is GOOD..." So yes my dear friends... " LET'S MAKE LOVE NOT WAR"

As this year almost end.... I have my ups and downs... Mostly downs, but hey... it's life anyway...

I cannot say that I still have the good constant things in my life. Infact, some of them are leaving me behind this week. Yesterday, Dewi is moving out to Indramayu with his husband, and I don't have the chance to say good bye. I send her a text asking her when the train leaves, and she text me back and told me that she's already on the train..."I've tried to call you this morning but the connections keep on failing, take care a good care of your self and please... take care the girls for me ..". Right then I hated Telkomsel....

For this 2 years, she's been a real good friend. She never failed to make laugh, and I wish I can have the same optimism as she had.
Some of my good friends in Jogja are moving out, last week Ari was moving out as well.. I bumped into him on a local cd store... He was a very good photograper for SetuSonten... and he's almost unreplaceable.

Ah... people come and people leave...

But at least... I still have my family, and friends... they maybe far away but I won't let them walking out from the special spot inside of me... Same thing goes to you my dear fellow bloggers.

Well... I just hope that the next year would be a much better year than this year... I have my hopes and hopefully most of them will be a reality for me... not much of a target though.... just some new good constant things in my life.... just like everybody else needs.... aren't you agree?..